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mwest123

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mwest123

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mwest123's favorite FMLs

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47033) - you deserved it (4449)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

#15412642
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35932) - you deserved it (3855)

On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom

Today, at 21 years of age, my doctor confirmed that I am, indeed, going bald. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, even expected, if I wasn't a woman. FML

#15385853
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41085) - you deserved it (3114)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:13pm - health - by Jessica - Romania (Neamt)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45482) - you deserved it (7712)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39876) - you deserved it (3884)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

#15012596
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34610) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/17/2011 at 3:08am - health - by clashgurl8449 -

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45274) - you deserved it (13040)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50958) - you deserved it (3750)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69746) - you deserved it (6565)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43286) - you deserved it (7935)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36313) - you deserved it (4801)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59054) - you deserved it (6113) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35129) - you deserved it (7639)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

#14488481
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (2115)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:26pm - health - by Dante -

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

#14350386
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (6227)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by cloud7 -



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