Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mwest123

Search for a member

mwest123

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 586
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mwest123's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of mwest123's badges

mwest123's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20879) - you deserved it (64630)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (2763)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32863) - you deserved it (18323)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (9684)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37821) - you deserved it (10285)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20289) - you deserved it (60902)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

#16055177
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37335) - you deserved it (7332)

On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

#15976359
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33850) - you deserved it (5229)

On 04/29/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Jims (man) - Singapore

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44769) - you deserved it (5616)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29679) - you deserved it (4221)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (29558)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (29558)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

#15703815
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32374) - you deserved it (3908)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:32am - animals - by blehhx - United States

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49458) - you deserved it (5857)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48741) - you deserved it (8014)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: