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mwest123

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mwest123
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  • Number of visits : 358
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mwest123's favorite FMLs

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (6312)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

#18329245
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36439) - you deserved it (2147)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11103) - you deserved it (21377)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (15232)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

#17625753
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (4116)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30113) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36939) - you deserved it (10875)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39296) - you deserved it (5245) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9677) - you deserved it (41813)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

#16945006
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38567) - you deserved it (3563)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (15280)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (55298)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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