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murph

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murph

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (38 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4437
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : You know what they say about Vermont. It's all true.

I dig motorcycles, guns, tattoos & off-roading in my Tacoma. I've got a garden. It's sweet, like you'd expect. Ordained minister of absolutely fucking nothing, but it's still legit. Love my kids more than anything. Hate corporations & Republicans. Think libertarians are Republicans who smoke pot. Can't wait for the revolution, or zombie apocalypse, whichever comes first. Voting for Bernie. Couldn't care less about what anyone else thinks about anything.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:09pm<b>NNOTCHO</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:26am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 7:31pm<b>milkie</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:45am<b>acp2002</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:07am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 2:52pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 7:45am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:39pm<b>piker117</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:52pm<b>alisenpai</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:12am<b>emxy92</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:24pm<b>N0tMatt</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:00pm<b>RektRules</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:53am<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:05am<b>Squygm</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:33am<b>hayleycasford</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:17am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:52am<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:40am

Fucked!<b>milkie</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:45pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:45pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:40am

murph's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of murph's badges

murph's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (1932)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21468) - you deserved it (2753)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

#21435503
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (1710)

On 07/02/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

#21434454
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21823) - you deserved it (1480)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm - work - by sickatwokr - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (1840)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

#21432346
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11832) - you deserved it (36021)

On 06/26/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (1802)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss confided in me that when a gay person visits his house, he discreetly follows them around and cleans anything they touched and everywhere they sat with disinfectant wipes. I've worked for him for 7 years but he doesn't know I'm gay. FML

#21430685
116 comments

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

#21430623
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (1906)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:57am - misc - by cAPITOLpORN - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I attended my best friend's wedding. Instead of throwing her bouquet, she turned around and handed it to me. I was the only single lady out of 150 guests. FML

#21430410
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (2198)

On 06/22/2015 at 11:13pm - love - by hairstylistprobs - United States

Today, I went to the ER for extremely heavy bleeding related to my IUD birth control. They decided the best thing to do was remove it. An exam, two ultrasounds, and three x-rays later, the doctor comes back to tell me what's going on. Yeah, they can't find it. FML

Today, I told my dad I was gonna to start working out again. He looked at me with honest confusion on his face and said, "You worked out before?" My mother started laughing. She was all the way upstairs. FML

#21430201
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (2545)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:35pm - health - by LukesSkyWalker (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

#21428990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23733) - you deserved it (2388)

On 06/20/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by organizse - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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