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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7350
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : From Vermont, got chickens and a garden, it's sweet. Atheist and ordained minister. Got 3 daughters and a wood chipper. Fuck Democrats and Republicans, I'm voting for Bernie anyway.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>BeetleBug96</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 4:09am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 4:45am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:50am<b>Tenker</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:09am<b>FantomLightning</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 8:16pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 6:58pm<b>michu</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 1:35pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 10:56am<b>TheNehman</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 1:38am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 9:28pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 9:56pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:08am<b>iheartbananas</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 7:24pm<b>melana09</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:41pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 3:16am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 11:38pm<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 1:49am<b>smw83</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:46am

Fucked!<b>coyotefox</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 10:45am<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 12:59am<b>Marteeny23</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:05am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:17pm<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 1:52am<b>MotherOfMonkeys</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:35pm<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:30am<b>lilithfury</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:27pm<b>Amz1200</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 7:14am<b>feven</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 2:51pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:22pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:08am<b>alicat089</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:33pm<b>milkie</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:45pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:45pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:40am

murph's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of murph's badges

murph's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking my toddler for a walk with the dog, he threw a tantrum and rammed one well-aimed finger directly up the poor dog's pooper. FML

by JEHR / 10/07/2016 at 3:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met a friend I hadn't seen in forever. After talking for a while, he says "I knew there was a reason I stopped talking to you." FML

by XRayXLopez1 / 09/19/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML

by dude i am so sorry / 09/19/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my younger brother complained yet again of soreness in his wrist. Frustrated with his constant whining, my mother turned to him and snapped, 'Well, what have you been using it for all this time then!?' The awkward silence of realisation for them both won't go away anytime soon. FML

by Torbey / 09/13/2016 at 11:49pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, after evicting my roommate for excessively not abiding by the lease agreements, he thought he could get back at me by sending me a video of my sister giving him head. FML

by livingonmyownfromnowon / 09/13/2016 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's dick got stuck in the wrong hole. And by wrong hole I mean the pool filter. FML

by AnxiousCucumber / 09/07/2016 at 4:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML

by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and naming her Hana Grace since "the name is up for grabs now". FML

by MadWorld / 08/28/2016 at 1:49pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML

by logansowow / 08/24/2016 at 8:37pm / Love

Today, I was awoken by my grandparents making love, as they shook the camper in which my cousin and I were sleeping. FML

by Scared4Lf / 08/19/2016 at 2:10pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML

by Oxnar60 / 08/08/2016 at 2:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, Snapchat thought my double chin was a mouth. FML

by Weightlosshereicome / 08/08/2016 at 6:06am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I received a friend request from a boyfriend I hadn't talked to in 20+ years. A few minutes later he messaged me a picture of himself with a young woman at a strip club. My daughter. FML

by Redhottt6 / 08/04/2016 at 9:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 2:10pm / Intimacy

Today, I found out all the "work meetings" my husband has been going to wasn't him having an affair after all, but him attending a neo-Nazi group. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 10:10am / Love