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murph

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

murph

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (38 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4698
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : You know what they say about Vermont. It's all true.

I dig motorcycles, guns, tattoos & off-roading in my Tacoma. I've got a garden. It's sweet, like you'd expect. Ordained minister of absolutely fucking nothing, but it's still legit. Love my kids more than anything. Hate corporations & Republicans. Think libertarians are Republicans who smoke pot. Can't wait for the revolution, or zombie apocalypse, whichever comes first. Voting for Bernie. Couldn't care less about what anyone else thinks about anything.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>LilyLi</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:00am<b>Hairymoney75</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 6:06am<b>hannahmabry14</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:05pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:09pm<b>NNOTCHO</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:26am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 7:31pm<b>milkie</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:45am<b>acp2002</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:07am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 2:52pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 7:45am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:39pm<b>piker117</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:52pm<b>alisenpai</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:12am<b>emxy92</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:24pm<b>N0tMatt</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:00pm<b>RektRules</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:53am<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:05am<b>Squygm</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:33am

Fucked!<b>milkie</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:45pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:45pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:40am

murph's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of murph's badges

murph's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (1964)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34889) - you deserved it (1864)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (3563)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

#21453154
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (1698)

On 08/07/2015 at 1:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML

#21452951
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (2865)

On 08/06/2015 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Notsurewhattofeelaboutthis (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

#21452616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (1690)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - health - by ithinkimturningjapanese - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

#21452615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (1660)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - work - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

#21452283
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (2258)

On 08/05/2015 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by TheIVkindaruinsthemood (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

#21452257
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (1870)

On 08/05/2015 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (2076)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (2392)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (4860)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

#21446986
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (1735)

On 07/25/2015 at 11:51am - love - by WhoLikesPie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

#21445902
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (1807)

On 07/23/2015 at 9:05am - animals - by dirtbikeguy (man) - United States (Illinois)



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