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murph

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murph

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (37 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4037
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : Fuck em if they can't take a joke.
Fuck em if they can.

Fuck em.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>alisenpai</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:12am<b>emxy92</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:24pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:17pm<b>N0tMatt</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:00pm<b>RektRules</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:53am<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:05am<b>Squygm</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:33am<b>hayleycasford</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:17am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:52am<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:40am<b>Markovski</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:33am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:58pm<b>sexypralav</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:24pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:18pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:34am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:24pm<b>rosiexoxo12</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 5:40am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:38am

Fucked!<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:40am

murph's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of murph's badges

murph's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17662) - you deserved it (1995)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

#21398399
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (5374)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34708) - you deserved it (2444)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (2444)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16098) - you deserved it (31621)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27995) - you deserved it (2210)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32094) - you deserved it (2589)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16665) - you deserved it (41519)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
101 comments

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (3276)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

#21378013
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (44)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML

#21377662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (182) - you deserved it (3127)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:19am - work - by MyPoorEyes (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

#21376642
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32398) - you deserved it (4204)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by Idigrespectfulattire (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

#21374265
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (6512)

On 03/14/2015 at 4:22am - intimacy - by sa la vash (woman) - Netherlands



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