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murph

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murph

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (37 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3212
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : Fuck em if they can't take a joke.
Fuck em if they can.

Fuck em.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>sexypralav</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:24pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:18pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:34am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:24pm<b>rosiexoxo12</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 5:40am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:38am<b>native_susana</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 10:57pm<b>Fsvb</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 4:51pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 6:06am<b>jazzydefphat</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 11:41am<b>Danyellstar</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 3:05pm<b>AshleyLong</b> - the 05/27/2010 at 7:49pm<b>sw2f2fchik612</b> - the 05/07/2010 at 2:06am<b>itz_towelie</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 4:01pm<b>chalkdust</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 3:22pm<b>wheresmycrown</b> - the 04/17/2010 at 3:14pm<b>Doom_Shroom</b> - the 04/15/2010 at 5:40pm<b>254milf</b> - the 04/11/2010 at 3:28pm

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murph's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36918) - you deserved it (4556)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (5399)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (4048)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (8294)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37726) - you deserved it (3330)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43348) - you deserved it (5259)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (3795)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you deserved it (34552)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20002) - you deserved it (42318)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50500) - you deserved it (9717)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (2605)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42004) - you deserved it (5961)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53477) - you deserved it (3633)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (4848)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46269) - you deserved it (14234)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -



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