murph

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murph

14Fucked!

murphmurph
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6522
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : From Vermont, got chickens and a garden, it's sweet. Atheist and ordained minister. Got 3 daughters and a wood chipper. Fuck Democrats and Republicans, I'm voting for Bernie anyway.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>Marteeny23</b> - 8 hours ago<b>missa8604</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:46pm<b>weird_adult</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:28pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 10:38pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 4:39pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 4:17pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 3:24pm<b>zainman13</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:23pm<b>ashliems</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:23pm<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:21pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 7:06am<b>withered</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 3:05am<b>RachelRHCP</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:26pm<b>skye147</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 5:41pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 5:02pm<b>delichick</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 4:49pm

Fucked!<b>Marteeny23</b> - 2 hours ago<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:17pm<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 1:52am<b>MotherOfMonkeys</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:35pm<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:30am<b>lilithfury</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:27pm<b>Amz1200</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 7:14am<b>feven</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 2:51pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:22pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:08am<b>alicat089</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:33pm<b>milkie</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:45pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:45pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:40am

murph's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of murph's badges

murph's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out all the "work meetings" my husband has been going to wasn't him having an affair after all, but him attending a neo-Nazi group. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 10:10am / Love

Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML

by NoDocVisit / 07/26/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog that had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

by notapetkiller / 07/26/2016 at 2:12am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

by Mj / 07/19/2016 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

by loserman67 / 07/18/2016 at 8:04am / Intimacy

Today, my mom figured that the best time to announce that I'm adopted was during her speech at my wedding. FML

by DidNotExpectThat / 07/18/2016 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML

by ObviousBooty / 07/17/2016 at 3:31am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I found a "white power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2016 at 8:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my giant Game of Thrones tattoo finished. Despite the fact that I had spelt it out for him, the artist wrote 'You no nothing John Snow'. It's the focal part of the tattoo. FML

by Heknowsnothing / 07/13/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, 3 weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

by dumped and dusted / 07/13/2016 at 1:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

by Poordaughter5 / 07/06/2016 at 1:21pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

by drpepperking10 / 07/02/2016 at 7:27pm / United States / Love

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Kids