About murph : From Vermont, got chickens and a garden, it's sweet. Atheist and ordained minister. Got 3 daughters and a wood chipper. Fuck Democrats and Republicans, I'm voting for Bernie anyway.
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murph's favorite FMLs
by XRayXLopez1 / 09/19/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML
by dude i am so sorry / 09/19/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by livingonmyownfromnowon / 09/13/2016 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by AnxiousCucumber / 09/07/2016 at 4:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML
by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and naming her Hana Grace since "the name is up for grabs now". FML
by MadWorld / 08/28/2016 at 1:49pm / Miscellaneous
by Scared4Lf / 08/19/2016 at 2:10pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML
by Oxnar60 / 08/08/2016 at 2:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Weightlosshereicome / 08/08/2016 at 6:06am / United States (New York) / Health
by Redhottt6 / 08/04/2016 at 9:24pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML
by NoDocVisit / 07/26/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog that had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML
by notapetkiller / 07/26/2016 at 2:12am / United States (New York) / Animals
- Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how…