About murph : From Vermont, got chickens and a garden, it's sweet. Atheist and ordained minister. Got 3 daughters and a wood chipper. Fuck Democrats and Republicans, I'm voting for Bernie anyway.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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murph's favorite FMLs
by JEHR / 10/07/2016 at 3:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by XRayXLopez1 / 09/19/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML
by dude i am so sorry / 09/19/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my younger brother complained yet again of soreness in his wrist. Frustrated with his constant whining, my mother turned to him and snapped, 'Well, what have you been using it for all this time then!?' The awkward silence of realisation for them both won't go away anytime soon. FML
by Torbey / 09/13/2016 at 11:49pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
by livingonmyownfromnowon / 09/13/2016 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by AnxiousCucumber / 09/07/2016 at 4:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML
by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and naming her Hana Grace since "the name is up for grabs now". FML
by MadWorld / 08/28/2016 at 1:49pm / Miscellaneous
by Scared4Lf / 08/19/2016 at 2:10pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML
by Oxnar60 / 08/08/2016 at 2:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Weightlosshereicome / 08/08/2016 at 6:06am / United States (New York) / Health
by Redhottt6 / 08/04/2016 at 9:24pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…