murph

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murph

12Fucked!

murphmurph
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6321
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : From Vermont, got a garden, it's sweet. Atheist and ordained minister. Got 3 daughters and a shotgun. Voting for Bernie.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:52pm<b>Reane</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 12:10pm<b>hiddenthoughts</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 8:13pm<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 1:00pm<b>dontknow1</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 12:24am<b>Aiden89</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:44pm<b>doraquiexplore</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 2:24pm<b>MotherOfMonkeys</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Coffee5555</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 9:48am<b>zuzu000001</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:38am<b>MamaChey</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:23am<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 8:38pm<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 1:12pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 12:45pm<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 7:29pm<b>buddy0712</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 6:31pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:53pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:51pm

Fucked!<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 1:52am<b>MotherOfMonkeys</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:35pm<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:30am<b>lilithfury</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:27pm<b>Amz1200</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 7:14am<b>feven</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 2:51pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:22pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:08am<b>alicat089</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:33pm<b>milkie</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:45pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:45pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:40am

murph's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of murph's badges

murph's favorite FMLs

Today, my father-in-law is still introducing me to family friends as his son's girlfriend. I have been married to his son for 5 years, we have a child together and another on the way. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2016 at 11:29pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in a huge fight with my pregnant wife because I cannot consent to naming our future daughter Paprika. FML

by no / 06/24/2016 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried to cover it up by having her stuffed. I found it "her" on my bed when I got home. They think that it's sweet that they stuffed the cat they killed. FML

by sadblufly / 06/18/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML

by mermaidkeels / 06/18/2016 at 4:51am / United States / Work

Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 5:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. My wife came in and thought I was jerking him off. She wouldn't believe my explanation. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 10:28am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets about who uses the toilets, when and for how long, and then make bets on who will take the longest toilet break, who will use it the most often, etc. Now I constantly look at my watch whenever I use the toilets. FML

by toilet on the clock / 06/08/2016 at 6:40am / China (Guangdong) / Work

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, the police finally recovered my stolen car. All it took was a shootout and two people dying. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2016 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice since I was 13. FML

Today, my boyfriend found the box of photos I've been saving for my daughter. He was convinced I was pining over her father and emptied the box into the dumpster behind our apartment. I'm still not done digging through the garbage to find the photos from the day my daughter was born. FML

by rummaging / 05/18/2016 at 9:46am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

by captainuniverse / 05/14/2016 at 1:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I found out that if I take back my expensive headphones that my daughter constantly borrows, she will play porn on max volume, whether or not I have guests over. FML

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2016 at 10:15am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Kids