About murph : From Vermont, got chickens and a garden, it's sweet. Atheist and ordained minister. Got 3 daughters and a wood chipper. Fuck Democrats and Republicans, I'm voting for Bernie anyway.
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murph's favorite FMLs
by Scared4Lf / 08/19/2016 at 2:10pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML
by Oxnar60 / 08/08/2016 at 2:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Weightlosshereicome / 08/08/2016 at 6:06am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML
by NoDocVisit / 07/26/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog that had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML
by notapetkiller / 07/26/2016 at 2:12am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Mj / 07/19/2016 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML
by loserman67 / 07/18/2016 at 8:04am / Intimacy
by DidNotExpectThat / 07/18/2016 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML
by ObviousBooty / 07/17/2016 at 3:31am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/16/2016 at 8:31am / Miscellaneous
by Heknowsnothing / 07/13/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, 3 weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
by dumped and dusted / 07/13/2016 at 1:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
- Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on… Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him.… Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on…