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murph

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murph

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (37 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3803
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : Fuck em if they can't take a joke.
Fuck em if they can.

Fuck em.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:58pm<b>sexypralav</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:24pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:18pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:34am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:24pm<b>rosiexoxo12</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 5:40am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:38am<b>native_susana</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 10:57pm<b>Fsvb</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 4:51pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 6:06am<b>jazzydefphat</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 11:41am<b>Danyellstar</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 3:05pm<b>AshleyLong</b> - the 05/27/2010 at 7:49pm<b>sw2f2fchik612</b> - the 05/07/2010 at 2:06am<b>itz_towelie</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 4:01pm<b>chalkdust</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 3:22pm<b>wheresmycrown</b> - the 04/17/2010 at 3:14pm<b>Doom_Shroom</b> - the 04/15/2010 at 5:40pm

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murph's favorite FMLs

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27174) - you deserved it (1800)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25986) - you deserved it (3801)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (2072)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
150 comments

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (6526)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

#21360309
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (7494)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14461) - you deserved it (33411)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML

#21354774
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

#21349054
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32447) - you deserved it (1676)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

#21348539
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43237) - you deserved it (2584)

On 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by StantheMan93 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (12867)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

#21346230
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30633) - you deserved it (3470)

On 01/29/2015 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML

#21345967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29630) - you deserved it (2614)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

#21345004
111 comments


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