murph

Search for a member

Offline (37 minutes ago)

murph

9Fucked!

murphmurph
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (38 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6103
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : From Vermont, got a garden, it's sweet. Atheist and ordained minister. Got 3 daughters and a shotgun. Voting for Bernie.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>lilithfury</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 10:27am<b>marisol180</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 11:52pm<b>Amz1200</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:14am<b>demix</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:21pm<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:37pm<b>feven</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 8:51am<b>ApologyKick</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 8:01am<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 9:57pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 4:00am<b>kirbo2</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 12:38am<b>jupiterdjay</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 2:46pm<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:59pm<b>u_mad_bro</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:51am<b>Tenker</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 12:48am<b>HonoraryCurve</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 11:07pm<b>kingshelly</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 2:05am<b>blahblahbullshit</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:16pm<b>Iwannarock1</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:09am

Fucked!<b>lilithfury</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:27pm<b>Amz1200</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 7:14am<b>feven</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 2:51pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:22pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:08am<b>alicat089</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:33pm<b>milkie</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:45pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:45pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:40am

murph's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of murph's badges

murph's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice since I was 13. FML

Today, my boyfriend found the box of photos I've been saving for my daughter. He was convinced I was pining over her father and emptied the box into the dumpster behind our apartment. I'm still not done digging through the garbage to find the photos from the day my daughter was born. FML

by rummaging / 05/18/2016 at 9:46am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

by captainuniverse / 05/14/2016 at 1:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I found out that if I take back my expensive headphones that my daughter constantly borrows, she will play porn on max volume, whether or not I have guests over. FML

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2016 at 10:15am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my room mate has been dating is my mom. FML

by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, traffic was so bad that I was able to connect to the WiFi of a nearby McDonald's and successfully listen to a 30-minute podcast. FML

by Mcwifi / 04/21/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML

by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2016 at 10:34am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I wasn't going to be a father. My best friend is going to be the father to my girlfriend's child, though. FML

by zefronke8 / 04/17/2016 at 2:01pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

by Unsuspecting / 04/16/2016 at 8:23am / United States / Health

Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML

by Liz / 03/26/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, I dropped my wallet and it fell into the perfectly sized hole in the storm drain. FML

by Qwe / 03/19/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money