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murph

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murph

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (37 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3276
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : Fuck em if they can't take a joke.
Fuck em if they can.

Fuck em.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>sexypralav</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:24pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:18pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:34am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:24pm<b>rosiexoxo12</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 5:40am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:38am<b>native_susana</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 10:57pm<b>Fsvb</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 4:51pm<b>limitedition</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 6:06am<b>jazzydefphat</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 11:41am<b>Danyellstar</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 3:05pm<b>AshleyLong</b> - the 05/27/2010 at 7:49pm<b>sw2f2fchik612</b> - the 05/07/2010 at 2:06am<b>itz_towelie</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 4:01pm<b>chalkdust</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 3:22pm<b>wheresmycrown</b> - the 04/17/2010 at 3:14pm<b>Doom_Shroom</b> - the 04/15/2010 at 5:40pm<b>254milf</b> - the 04/11/2010 at 3:28pm

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murph's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18158) - you deserved it (2099)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I missed work for the third time this week. My dog gets lonely when I'm away and has found out how to shut off my alarm clock. FML

#21273263
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33646) - you deserved it (4890)

On 10/08/2014 at 12:21am - animals - by fckUrex - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35856) - you deserved it (2576)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35422) - you deserved it (4197)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40100) - you deserved it (4719)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38845) - you deserved it (5552)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (199) - you deserved it (4241)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (8338)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38168) - you deserved it (3335)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43620) - you deserved it (5276)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46833) - you deserved it (3798)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36470) - you deserved it (35419)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (19)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)



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