murph

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murph

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murphmurph
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1977 (38 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5852
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About murph : From Vermont, got a garden, it's sweet. Atheist and ordained minister. Got 3 daughters and a shotgun. Voting for Bernie.

murph's page activity

Visits<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 4:00am<b>kirbo2</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 12:38am<b>jupiterdjay</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 2:46pm<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:59pm<b>u_mad_bro</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:51am<b>Tenker</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 12:48am<b>HonoraryCurve</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 11:07pm<b>feven</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:30pm<b>kingshelly</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 2:05am<b>blahblahbullshit</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:16pm<b>Iwannarock1</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:09am<b>brunanolasco</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:57pm<b>yerawizardlizzy</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:55pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:21pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:08pm<b>saxyguy</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:47pm<b>JustinJK</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:12pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:22pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:08am<b>alicat089</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:33pm<b>milkie</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 5:45pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:45pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:40am

murph's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of murph's badges

murph's favorite FMLs

Today, traffic was so bad that I was able to connect to the WiFi of a nearby McDonald's and successfully listen to a 30-minute podcast. FML

by Mcwifi / 04/21/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML

by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2016 at 10:34am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I wasn't going to be a father. My best friend is going to be the father to my girlfriend's child, though. FML

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

by Unsuspecting / 04/16/2016 at 8:23am / United States / Health

Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML

by Liz / 03/26/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, I dropped my wallet and it fell into the perfectly sized hole in the storm drain. FML

by Qwe / 03/19/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

by sick of this shit / 03/12/2016 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML

by no paedo / 03/11/2016 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2016 at 12:06am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML