About murph : From Vermont, got chickens and a garden, it's sweet. Atheist and ordained minister. Got 3 daughters and a wood chipper. We split wood, drive trucks and eat meat. And I see your concrete creeping, city folk.
murph's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
murph's favorite FMLs
by Wanaaa / 11/25/2016 at 2:08am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
by funnyERstory / 11/22/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by calgarygal / 11/22/2016 at 9:53pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
by Crazy In-Laws / 11/20/2016 at 5:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by anonymous / 11/19/2016 at 1:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I'm 8 weeks pregnant and suffering from severe pregnancy brain. I was making my husband's lunch to take to work. I realised shortly after he left that I'd used dish soap instead of BBQ sauce for his sandwich. He has to turn his phone off for work, so I have no way to warn him. FML
by Stupid Pregnancy Brain / 11/18/2016 at 8:45am / Love
Today, my mom volunteered me to house-sit for one of her friends. This lady has texted me over ten times in less than 24 hours, called me unreasonable for not dropping jury duty to meet with her, and has messaged my mom multiple times to complain about me. My mom already said I would do this for free. FML
by Knittedbirch / 11/13/2016 at 9:36pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was subpoenaed on behalf of my mother-in-law. My husband said if I didn't defend her and consequently lie under oath, our marriage is over. She said, "I can get rid of two problems in one day!" FML
by anonymous / 11/10/2016 at 9:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by catbum / 11/09/2016 at 10:54pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Animals
by Sarah_Mow / 10/27/2016 at 10:31pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my old rusty truck in an empty parking lot, when some old lady parks beside me and opens her door, hitting my truck. Having a used up truck, I didn't mind. But you could tell that it made her mad, when she came back with the manager demanding that I pay for her paint job. FML
by bagadigi / 10/27/2016 at 10:18am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2016 at 1:06am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…