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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (4615)
On 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by Branski - United States
Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38885) - you deserved it (12951)
On 07/24/2011 at 8:22am - love - by oouchh (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45938) - you deserved it (5586)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31047) - you deserved it (8234)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (6460)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44833) - you deserved it (4970)
On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (6517)
On 07/17/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by it_IS_just_me (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (3982)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (79118)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41124) - you deserved it (10419)
On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62947) - you deserved it (5691)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45712) - you deserved it (2289)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my bedridden mother called me selfish. After an operation two weeks ago, all I've done is feed her, clean her and the house every day. She called me selfish because I couldn't lift a TV into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (1652)
On 07/04/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by Ashleighx94 - United Kingdom
Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (3475)
On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11185) - you deserved it (31994)
On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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