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murk2035

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murk2035

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1620
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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murk2035's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

#17338419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (8204)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:13am - love - by HaHa Not Funny (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML

#17324458
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (14055)

On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

#17290370
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24740) - you deserved it (6171)

On 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by Branski - United States

Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML

#17239646
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45449) - you deserved it (17120)

On 07/24/2011 at 8:22am - love - by oouchh (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51966) - you deserved it (6191)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37115) - you deserved it (10690)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34157) - you deserved it (7154)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52415) - you deserved it (6691)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML

#17143306
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36298) - you deserved it (8480)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by it_IS_just_me (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30989) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (89086)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49176) - you deserved it (14546)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73691) - you deserved it (7680)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53285) - you deserved it (3098)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my bedridden mother called me selfish. After an operation two weeks ago, all I've done is feed her, clean her and the house every day. She called me selfish because I couldn't lift a TV into her room. FML

#16977173
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31526) - you deserved it (2339)

On 07/04/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by Ashleighx94 - United Kingdom



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