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murk2035

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murk2035

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1659
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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murk2035's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

#17525503
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10586) - you deserved it (69383)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28059) - you deserved it (5145)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40427) - you deserved it (6271)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (6825)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML

#17480475
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40740) - you deserved it (4725)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

#17453333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40070) - you deserved it (4170)

On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

#17446772
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36391) - you deserved it (7133)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12784) - you deserved it (32845)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

#17398167
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36434) - you deserved it (4431)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Eddie (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41133) - you deserved it (5963)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28429) - you deserved it (8291)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53282) - you deserved it (3275)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

#17349530
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11273) - you deserved it (46529)

On 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51207) - you deserved it (9840)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)



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