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Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34361) - you deserved it (4895)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (5111)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34846) - you deserved it (4297)
On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (3008)
On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (5341)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10000) - you deserved it (23296)
On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14572) - you deserved it (29288)
On 08/11/2011 at 5:35am - misc - by maryrain - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (3919)
On 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Eddie (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (4574)
Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21791) - you deserved it (6052)
On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45773) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8895) - you deserved it (33229)
On 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (7597)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (6175)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:13am - love - by HaHa Not Funny (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (12494)
On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 20 May 2013
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