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Mobility
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Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12555) - you deserved it (38896)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (5412)
On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you deserved it (2352)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (4062)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (4008)
On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States
Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9725) - you deserved it (30553)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29702) - you deserved it (1944)
On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that my mother-in-law is house hunting in my town. There is a house for sale 2 doors down from me. In her price range. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (1467)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by momma6126 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (2333)
On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12985) - you deserved it (22132)
On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (1932)
On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (3321)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (51646)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (51646)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23016) - you deserved it (4596)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Monday 20 May 2013
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