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murk2035

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murk2035

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1665
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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murk2035's favorite FMLs

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23566) - you deserved it (9431)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85414) - you deserved it (13098)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85414) - you deserved it (13098)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (3786)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML

#17679754
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (11688)

On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (6476)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (6476)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (9397)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

#17664853
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you deserved it (11170)

On 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm - love - by ddll (man) - Singapore

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (2373)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48638) - you deserved it (5825)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36063) - you deserved it (9415)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31072) - you deserved it (3256)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (3771)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32914) - you deserved it (3652)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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