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murk2035

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murk2035

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 October 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1534
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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murk2035's favorite FMLs

Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML

#18579452
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8013) - you deserved it (30493)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm - health - by justnance - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML

#18568440
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (4301)

On 12/21/2011 at 6:28am - love - by tarynfaye (woman) - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (25109)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48496) - you deserved it (7722)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (18291)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31632) - you deserved it (2797)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

#18458740
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (3254)

On 12/08/2011 at 4:14am - love - by disappoint - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (4435)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML

#18381976
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (2468)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:45am - money - by dasteve - United States (Idaho)

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

#18321705
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (10503)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -

Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML

#18289031
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (4607)

On 11/19/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by John (man) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (4164)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
593 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58637) - you deserved it (4669)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (8759)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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