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murk2035's favorite FMLs
by justnance / 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by tarynfaye / 12/21/2011 at 6:28am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy
by Vince / 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy
by disappoint / 12/08/2011 at 4:14am / United States (Florida) / Love
by journey_Jeanne / 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by dasteve / 11/29/2011 at 12:45am / United States (Idaho) / Money
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
by thunderthighs644 / 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm / Health
Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
by John / 11/19/2011 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.…