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murk2035

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murk2035

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 October 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1504
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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murk2035's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31986) - you deserved it (6160)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41708) - you deserved it (9086)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

#18976256
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52737) - you deserved it (3232)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48369) - you deserved it (8149)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36511) - you deserved it (2894)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (3369)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (4843)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (9625)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12594) - you deserved it (46165)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (4394)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML

#18760166
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11886) - you deserved it (18836)

On 01/09/2012 at 8:30pm - misc - by annoying (woman) - United States

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34384) - you deserved it (10547)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

#18692571
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32572) - you deserved it (2204)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29363) - you deserved it (7702)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25911) - you deserved it (4914)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)



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