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murk2035

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murk2035
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 October 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 1350
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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murk2035's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (5827)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7011) - you deserved it (59376)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (4568)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (2554)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20732) - you deserved it (17836)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19518) - you deserved it (3015)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16475) - you deserved it (28449)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7515) - you deserved it (40072)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

#19142654
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - kids - by crzyry (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9565) - you deserved it (32174)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20577) - you deserved it (2786)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (5929)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43895) - you deserved it (3765)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43895) - you deserved it (3765)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)



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