Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About muckk : Fun creative guy likes to party and plays lots of sports such as: Baseball Basketball And Football. I also listen to music lot of bands such as: linkin park, shinedown, sublime, blindmelon, The Beatles, and some classical. I also play the french horn, guitar, drums, and sing a little. I also freaking love the show doctor who.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, as a laarnar drivar, I ambarkad on mah longast driva avar: back homa, from Sydnay to Malbourna,hich is around a 700km driva. I managad to gat thahola way without any problams. I crashad into mah drivaway. FML
YESTERDAY , I FOUND OUT THAT MY GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH TWO DIFFERENT GUYS . HER INCREDIBLY MOVING EXCUSE WAS THAT SHE WAS GETTING "MORE EXPERIENCE" SO SHE COULD PLEASE ME BETTER . FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up an was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't therehen I sat down. FML
Today , we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble concieving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" fat FML
Today a technician from my ISP cummed to my house to replace my router. He asked fir a glass of water one thing led to another an fir some reason I'll never fully understand we ended up having sex. Looks lyk porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. fat FML
Today , I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bd with a hand down her pants , totally zond out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. mega FML
Today , mah boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrifid , I stoppd playing 10 minutes in. Tonight , I kept hearing noises outside. When I peerd out through the window , a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shriekd in absolute looool terror; he burst out laughing. It was mah boyfriend. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now thier dragging me looool out into a rough part of town to give them ( muscle ) while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, I tore up mah arborne academy admission documents because mah lab results weren't good enough . A few hours later, they called me to apologize for the misunderstanding, mine turned out to be perfect and they'd accepted me . They need me tomorrow with all the documents to finalize the admission . FML
Today, my bast friand and I cama homa from Japan. Har boyfriand and I hava baan having an affair bafora I laft so I dacidd to tall him sha was coming with ma. Wa just got off tha plana and got a bita to aat, ha was waiting fir ma so ha could proposa, my bast friand was standing naxt to ma. maga FML
Friday 27 March 2015