I'm awesome
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2031) - you totally deserved it (33791)
On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you totally deserved it (900)
On 02/20/2010 at 3:20am - misc - by deadandwasted (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3671) - you totally deserved it (30658)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3504) - you totally deserved it (22717)
On 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48178) - you totally deserved it (2372)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16332) - you totally deserved it (38309)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36865) - you totally deserved it (2661)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51291) - you totally deserved it (4911)
On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26670) - you totally deserved it (64178)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking slowly and awkwardly down the stairs on my crutches. After two steps, a screw fell out of the left crutch and it collapsed. I now have a broken arm from trying to protect my broken leg as I tumbled down two flights of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88092) - you totally deserved it (2673)
On 04/07/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by eeee (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up a little after seven. I felt sick to my stomach because last night was my bachelor party and I drank more than I ever have before. I checked my phone, and I had received 42 missed calls. It was seven o'clock pm. Today was my wedding day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44748) - you totally deserved it (148800)
On 04/03/2009 at 12:19am - love - by kenken2 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my father asked me if he could borrow my electric razor because he wanted to "surprise mom later". Anxious to see him without his life-long beard, I willingly agreed. About half an hour later he exited the bathroom. Beard fully intact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86985) - you totally deserved it (8391)
On 03/23/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by ButtahSauce (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50176) - you totally deserved it (15775)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59271) - you totally deserved it (6657)
On 03/18/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by lemonjuice (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you totally deserved it (20863)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)
