mssammydean

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mssammydean

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4949
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mssammydean's page activity

Visits<b>odog815</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:16pm<b>saebybaby</b> - the 06/14/2011 at 5:13am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:52am

mssammydean's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mssammydean's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

by troubleintoyland / 12/23/2010 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

by nick / 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

by wench / 12/23/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2010 at 2:42am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

by screwed / 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Health

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

by ks.swan13 / 12/22/2010 at 4:50am / Animals

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2010 at 11:18am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I walked to school in -5 degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML

by stupid / 12/21/2010 at 10:21am / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

by fail / 12/21/2010 at 4:38am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

by Username / 12/21/2010 at 12:09am / Intimacy

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work