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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5655
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mssammydean's page activity

Visits<b>odog815</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:16pm<b>saebybaby</b> - the 06/14/2011 at 5:13am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:52am

mssammydean's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mssammydean's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2010 at 2:03pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 10:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Transportation

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 3:13am / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Health

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

by badhairday / 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 2:11am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, my brother asked if he could borrow my razor, since he recently hit puberty and wanted to have a shave. I decided to be nice and let him. When he returned it half an hour later, I couldn't help but notice his facial hair was untouched. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 12:54am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML

by desigymrat / 12/25/2010 at 12:29am / France / Love

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

by snoozerlooser / 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus and fallen asleep while taking a shit. FML

by Username / 12/24/2010 at 6:49pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

by notsoclean / 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy