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mssammydean

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mssammydean

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  • Title : Miss
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  • Number of visits : 3382
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mssammydean's page activity

Visits<b>odog815</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:16pm<b>saebybaby</b> - the 06/14/2011 at 5:13am

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mssammydean's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

#14605764
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54524) - you deserved it (4244)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43314) - you deserved it (6262)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML

#14600579
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9706) - you deserved it (28260)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Torbay)

Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML

#14600579
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9706) - you deserved it (28260)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Torbay)

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14598799
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16180) - you deserved it (62731)

On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML

#14596277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (4122)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML

#14596277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (4122)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35100) - you deserved it (7638)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

#14586619
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11407) - you deserved it (35056)

On 01/15/2011 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

#14585714
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (5608)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15671) - you deserved it (75334)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

#14580215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15625) - you deserved it (27628)

On 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30371) - you deserved it (14320)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17408) - you deserved it (30751)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML

#14570850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28084) - you deserved it (7165)

On 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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