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mssammydean

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mssammydean
  • Town/Country : Perth, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2932
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mssammydean's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

#14691399
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (4050)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (6215)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

#14682600
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26395) - you deserved it (6790)

On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

#14681491
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17866) - you deserved it (7382)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by shadowfigure (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

#14681443
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9208) - you deserved it (36998)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:43am - money - by quarterback (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML

#14678100
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11125) - you deserved it (29962)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by RBHSWedgieGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

#14677100
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32762) - you deserved it (12249)

On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28154) - you deserved it (4890)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35904) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

#14670842
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6272) - you deserved it (44866)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

#14670797
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (6956) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12638) - you deserved it (24211)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38374) - you deserved it (3258)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML

#14650718
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (11195)

On 01/20/2011 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14649899
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26463) - you deserved it (2137)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous - Philippines (Pampanga)



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