mssammydean

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mssammydean

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5798
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mssammydean's page activity

Visits<b>odog815</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:16pm<b>saebybaby</b> - the 06/14/2011 at 5:13am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:52am

mssammydean's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mssammydean's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

by embarrassed2 / 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

by shadowfigure / 01/23/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Alaska) / Kids

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

by quarterback / 01/23/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML

by RBHSWedgieGirl / 01/22/2011 at 8:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

by ohsnap / 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

by Theaccident / 01/22/2011 at 5:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

by sandra22 / 01/22/2011 at 3:49am / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

by gummy bear / 01/21/2011 at 6:41am / Love

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

by fianceeless / 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 2:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 12:18pm / Philippines (Pampanga) / Love