Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mrs_bruno_mars

Offline (the 09/29/2014 at 12:11am) | Search for a member

mrs_bruno_mars

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1088
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mrs_bruno_mars : Don't judge me ;)
Yes I'm French, but I know English better than most of you stupid native English speakers. So suck it.

mrs_bruno_mars's page activity

Visits<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:43am<b>zarosian</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:37pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:10pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:57pm<b>kikiluv12</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:33pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:42pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 12:53am<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:28pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:56am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 4:35pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:26am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 9:21pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:40pm<b>jimmy_vansuelo</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 2:50pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:56pm<b>ShabutieWarhead</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:43pm

mrs_bruno_mars's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of mrs_bruno_mars's badges

mrs_bruno_mars's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30827) - you deserved it (6884)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29241) - you deserved it (5983)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (4175)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

#17874852
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (2932)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (16795)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (3074)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (4403)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

#17535182
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38644) - you deserved it (3221)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML

#17463558
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (4288)

On 08/13/2011 at 9:17pm - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18640) - you deserved it (94897)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30737) - you deserved it (3952)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

#14882108
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28823) - you deserved it (3285)

On 02/07/2011 at 1:04pm - work - by hushnow - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41114) - you deserved it (5422)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: