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mrs_bruno_mars

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mrs_bruno_mars
  • Town/Country : Provence, France
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 869
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mrs_bruno_mars : Don't judge me ;)
Yes I'm French, but I know English better than most of you stupid native English speakers. So suck it.

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50 favourites

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mrs_bruno_mars's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

#18825467
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18452) - you deserved it (2847)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I wolf whistled at a girl. I soon realized this wasn't the best idea I've had, as not only did she give me a look of complete and utter disgust, she also sent a very big man running in my direction. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

#18609988
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

#18608467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21019) - you deserved it (2376)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27194) - you deserved it (3759) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11545) - you deserved it (39192)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

#18192880
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (32394)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (4925)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (5189)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

#18083556
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15047) - you deserved it (10651)

On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (6592)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (4597)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)



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