mrs_bruno_mars

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Offline (the 04/19/2016 at 9:05am)

mrs_bruno_mars

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1890
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mrs_bruno_mars : Don't judge me ;)
Yes I'm French, but I know English better than most of you stupid native English speakers. So suck it.

mrs_bruno_mars's page activity

Visits<b>lungjiao</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:00am<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:26am<b>aperson69</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 10:10pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:21am<b>VibratingMeerkat</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:57pm<b>justsomegirl95</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:18pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Kaygirl2013</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 3:38am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:43am<b>zarosian</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:37pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:10pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:57pm<b>kikiluv12</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:33pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:42pm

mrs_bruno_mars's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

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Consolation prize

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50 favourites

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mrs_bruno_mars's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2013 at 6:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

by theycallmekitty / 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

by Les Miserables is so sad / 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

by Steve / 12/16/2012 at 1:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

by wow @ creepy fuckers / 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Work

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

by cl4ptp / 08/14/2012 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous