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mrs_bruno_mars

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 9:27pm) | Search for a member

mrs_bruno_mars

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1009
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mrs_bruno_mars : Don't judge me ;)
Yes I'm French, but I know English better than most of you stupid native English speakers. So suck it.

mrs_bruno_mars's page activity

Visits<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:43am<b>zarosian</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:37pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:10pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:57pm<b>kikiluv12</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:33pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:42pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 12:53am<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:28pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:56am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 4:35pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:26am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 9:21pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:40pm<b>jimmy_vansuelo</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 2:50pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:56pm<b>ShabutieWarhead</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:43pm

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mrs_bruno_mars's favorite FMLs

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68513) - you deserved it (17851)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56961) - you deserved it (16030)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79636) - you deserved it (8234)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (5838)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37736) - you deserved it (19365)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (2597)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

#20439162
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (13400)

On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31110) - you deserved it (16346)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39632) - you deserved it (2430)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27349) - you deserved it (5322)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (18114)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (7367)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33102) - you deserved it (2535)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (6741)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21182) - you deserved it (2945)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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