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mrs_bruno_mars

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mrs_bruno_mars
  • Town/Country : Provence, France
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 867
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mrs_bruno_mars : Don't judge me ;)
Yes I'm French, but I know English better than most of you stupid native English speakers. So suck it.

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mrs_bruno_mars's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (16777)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19554) - you deserved it (6868)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21916) - you deserved it (6534)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (6383)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

#19708258
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (4701)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (29331)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

#19564735
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (1934)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22837) - you deserved it (7433)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

#19527572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (1762)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm - misc - by :| (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

#19526549
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15444) - you deserved it (2191)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:25am - work - by IHateGroupProjects (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (3435)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (3059)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my mom has been stealing from me to pay for Scientology courses. FML

#19134973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (1816)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by sonofanut - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32856) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)



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