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mrs_bruno_mars

Offline (the 02/25/2015 at 4:38am) | Search for a member

mrs_bruno_mars

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1400
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mrs_bruno_mars : Don't judge me ;)
Yes I'm French, but I know English better than most of you stupid native English speakers. So suck it.

mrs_bruno_mars's page activity

Visits<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:02pm<b>VibratingMeerkat</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:57pm<b>justsomegirl95</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:18pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Kaygirl2013</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 3:38am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:43am<b>zarosian</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:37pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:10pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:57pm<b>kikiluv12</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:33pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:42pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 12:53am<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:56am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 4:35pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:26am

mrs_bruno_mars's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of mrs_bruno_mars's badges

mrs_bruno_mars's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33631) - you deserved it (3488)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35615) - you deserved it (4299)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23222) - you deserved it (40157)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45226) - you deserved it (15221)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (4516)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

#21160325
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41872) - you deserved it (4257)

On 06/02/2014 at 10:00am - love - by CorCelesti (woman) - United States

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48804) - you deserved it (5403)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML

#21154853
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40499) - you deserved it (5773)

On 05/28/2014 at 4:33pm - health - by angelamegan21 - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37503) - you deserved it (10684)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44347) - you deserved it (3118)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55827) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48066) - you deserved it (13550)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59448) - you deserved it (6978)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58021) - you deserved it (4320)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States



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