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mrs_bruno_mars

Offline (the 09/29/2014 at 12:11am) | Search for a member

mrs_bruno_mars

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1083
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mrs_bruno_mars : Don't judge me ;)
Yes I'm French, but I know English better than most of you stupid native English speakers. So suck it.

mrs_bruno_mars's page activity

Visits<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:43am<b>zarosian</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:37pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:10pm<b>JRT1393</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:57pm<b>kikiluv12</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:33pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:42pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 12:53am<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:28pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:56am<b>drewski_14</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 4:35pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:26am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 9:21pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:40pm<b>jimmy_vansuelo</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 2:50pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:56pm<b>ShabutieWarhead</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:43pm

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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mrs_bruno_mars's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45245) - you deserved it (3476)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35629) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35747) - you deserved it (7234)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (37858)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41299) - you deserved it (8412) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42386) - you deserved it (13753)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49790) - you deserved it (19637)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46421) - you deserved it (6985)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41216) - you deserved it (4320)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

#21160325
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41631) - you deserved it (4239)

On 06/02/2014 at 10:00am - love - by CorCelesti (woman) - United States

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46684) - you deserved it (5187)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML

#21154853
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38901) - you deserved it (5564)

On 05/28/2014 at 4:33pm - health - by angelamegan21 - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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