![[fr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (3781)
On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32020) - you deserved it (7097)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17045) - you deserved it (2290)
On 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm - kids - by Mommy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been sending him naked photos and other naughty things this entire week, or so I thought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9856) - you deserved it (24642)
On 09/27/2010 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Liz - United States (Florida)
Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9239) - you deserved it (48889)
On 09/24/2010 at 7:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (2973)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7136) - you deserved it (22117)
On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (1687)
On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)
Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20178) - you deserved it (2688)
On 09/15/2010 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29812) - you deserved it (7444)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (10086)
On 09/06/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by BrokebyKids - United States (New York)
Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (2484)
On 09/02/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by flimflam (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13830) - you deserved it (26695)
On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (12386)
On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24936) - you deserved it (7372)
On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
