Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mozeltov

Search for a member

mozeltov

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1752
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mozeltov : I'm awesome and don't have time to fill out these about me descriptions, and yes, that picture is of me

mozeltov's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - 5 hours ago<b>soccergirl2016</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:24am<b>Bombegranite</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:34am<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:15am<b>Fooflybag</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:45am<b>denisse_p</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:22am<b>UsernameistooLo</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Chlo_Bo_96</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:28pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:00am<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:24am<b>closetrebel</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 9:59pm<b>silon5</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:27pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:22pm<b>rafasgirl</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:23pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:52pm<b>yesIAmAnAsshole</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 10:27pm<b>NEMESIS15</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:22am<b>ItalianChaos</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:09pm

mozeltov's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of mozeltov's badges

mozeltov's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46991) - you deserved it (4029)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32746) - you deserved it (112101)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37607) - you deserved it (3377)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

#20516729
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10065) - you deserved it (45030) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11676) - you deserved it (44296)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (33680)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (3754)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (4280)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10247) - you deserved it (43142)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35928) - you deserved it (4929)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

#14585714
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (5616)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (2693)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

#13588897
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10014) - you deserved it (61931)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40064) - you deserved it (3400)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while driving, a girl on her cellphone cut me off. A second later, another person behind me on a cellphone rear ended me. Her excuse was, "I'm sorry, you weren't there a minute ago!" FML

#11698354
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you deserved it (2607)

On 07/06/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by drivencrazy (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: