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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1932
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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moriah's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:07am<b>azad_rahul</b> - the 09/10/2009 at 12:09am<b>Mnemic</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 3:58am<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 11:07am<b>fucklifeee</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 6:32pm

moriah's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

moriah's favorite FMLs

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

by jeph23 / 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML

by wetboy / 07/05/2009 at 6:07am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

by kewlio45 / 07/01/2009 at 2:33am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on aim, I noticed one of his friends away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said "I can't believe what I stick my d... In sometimes." FML

by Bulldogs09 / 07/01/2009 at 12:41am / Love

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 12:49am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

by thelarkscaw / 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

by bitches. / 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

by ohdeardarling / 06/14/2009 at 9:08am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

by canadiankc / 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

by Elis / 03/01/2009 at 3:49am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to tell my parents about my new nose job I got about a month ago. My mom always told me I should get one, so I didn't tell her right away to see if she would notice. I was home for about 20 minutes before she asked me, "so when are you getting that nose job?" FML

by Noname / 02/25/2009 at 4:31pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

by bluntedone / 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Money