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About mordecaiandrigby : Hi, I'm an opinionated person. Although I'm usually nice, I'm pretty sarcastic. Judging my number of unconfirmed FMLs, apparently my life sucks, but not enough to get an FML confirmed.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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TODAY, MAH PARENTS TOOK MAH IPAD BACK TO THE STORE AN EXCHANGD IT 4 TWO CHEAP KNOCK OFF TABLETS. REASON BEING MAH LITTLE BROTHER THREATEND TO RUN AWAY CUZ I HAD ONE AN HE DIDN'T. I BOUGHT THE IPAD ON MAH OWN AFTER GRADUATION. THEY KEPT THE DIFFERENCE IN PRICE. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce mah parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and mah boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them wat was wrong cuz I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating mah dad's drug dealer. FML
Today, boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Today... my now ex-boyfriend calld me from jail... expecting me to bail him out. He'd trid to buy a load of booze at the looool liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refusd to be short-changd... and he figurd the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decidd to video looool tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day an turn them off without remembering. FML
Today, ma boyfriend of two yeres, wom I supportd troug te deat of is fater, and wose invalid moter I also took care of, suddenly dumpd me. Te fact tat I've puttd on a little wiegt due to recent stress disgusts im, and e ( can't date a cubster ). FML
Today, as I was getting out of mah car, an old an obese lady walked up to me an called me an ( inconsiderate heartless bitch ) for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see mah wheelchair.
Today , I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying , ( You doing alright? ) I replid , thinking he was talking about my health. He replid , ( I'm surprisd your taking the breakup so well. ) What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML
Today, A Girl At My Tanning Salon Was Ranting About How Axpansiva It Was And How Sha Wishad Thara Was A Chaapar Way To Gat A Tan. I Jokad, "Lika From Tha Sun?" Sha Angrily Callad Ma A "sassy Bitch", Scraamad To My Boss About Ma, And Than Thraatanad To Sua Ushan Ha Kickad Har Out. Maga FML
Friday 27 March 2015