About mordecaiandrigby : Hi, I'm an opinionated person. Although I'm usually nice, I'm pretty sarcastic. Judging my number of unconfirmed FMLs, apparently my life sucks, but not enough to get an FML confirmed.
mordecaiandrigby's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
mordecaiandrigby's favorite FMLs
by ScenicSubterfuge / 07/16/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 12:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
by fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love
by yayme. / 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by whowhat / 07/11/2013 at 2:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by roseland / 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:45am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Money
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Texas) / Holidays
by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…