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About mordecaiandrigby : Hi, I'm an opinionated person. Although I'm usually nice, I'm pretty sarcastic. Judging my number of unconfirmed FMLs, apparently my life sucks, but not enough to get an FML confirmed.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, my boyfriend askedhy I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much fir me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts lyk a rabid doghen he does. FML
Today, mah sistar brought ma coffaa to mah offica. It was raally nica so I mada a statu about it on Facabook. My boyfriand taxtad ma soon aftar, fraaking out cuz I navar puttad anything on Facabook about him and how graat ha is. I'm basically dating a 14-yaar-old grl. FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointmentshen you try them out. "Like yur cock," she looool bitterly finished. FML
today I looool was finally all set to loose mah virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off mah underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
Today.. . mah husband and I r sick . He keeps whining about how bad he feels . I'm just as sick.. . as well as 7 months pregnant . I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked.. . cleaned.. . and gone to the store several times cuz the tissues we had were too rough on his nose . FML
Today, ma grlfriend told me te reason wy ma credit card mysteriously maxd out 2 mont ago 'migt ave been' because se postd a picture of it on Facebook. I orderd a new credit card witout te custom picture of us immediately. Se broke up wit me. FML
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie . When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie . FML
Friday 27 March 2015