About mordecaiandrigby : Hi, I'm an opinionated person. Although I'm usually nice, I'm pretty sarcastic. Judging my number of unconfirmed FMLs, apparently my life sucks, but not enough to get an FML confirmed.
mordecaiandrigby's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
mordecaiandrigby's favorite FMLs
Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML
by nikaea / 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML
by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML
by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Ticklish / 04/13/2014 at 5:33am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
by I Have Failed / 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm / Spain (Madrid) / Kids
by Gibsonsgfreak21 / 03/25/2014 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
by BustedEgo / 03/23/2014 at 1:31am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Jen__ / 03/22/2014 at 3:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by naesha / 03/16/2014 at 9:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
- Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got… Today, while having sex with my wife, my Candy Crush addiction hit me full force, and all I could… Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds…