About mordecaiandrigby : Hi, I'm an opinionated person. Although I'm usually nice, I'm pretty sarcastic.
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Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33509) - you deserved it (12710)
On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States
Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42986) - you deserved it (4146)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (2485)
On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77171) - you deserved it (4452)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46486) - you deserved it (2366)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50347) - you deserved it (6117)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69074) - you deserved it (4180)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50521) - you deserved it (5099)
On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41468) - you deserved it (6458)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55116) - you deserved it (4759)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44641) - you deserved it (7489)
On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53794) - you deserved it (10956)
On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52498) - you deserved it (2705)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (5235)
On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51118) - you deserved it (3364)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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