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mordantennui

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mordantennui

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  • Number of visits : 2349
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mordantennui's page activity

Visits<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 11:28pm<b>rawr222</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 9:32am<b>donnieandalicia</b> - the 06/09/2009 at 9:17am

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mordantennui's favorite FMLs

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17656) - you deserved it (3492)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42650) - you deserved it (2968)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (3223)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

#6228123
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29151) - you deserved it (2334)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (3105)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML

#6169373
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30719) - you deserved it (3765)

On 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Xero_316 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

#6069034
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (9736)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

#6005928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (2212)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8658) - you deserved it (105295)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

#5699135
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10960) - you deserved it (34769)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (7898)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38560) - you deserved it (4398)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14555) - you deserved it (41576)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34920) - you deserved it (78562)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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