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mopar_chick

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mopar_chick

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 118
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mopar_chick's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (3299)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35640) - you deserved it (3643)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML

#21263362
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34400) - you deserved it (4674)

On 09/22/2014 at 8:23pm - love - by Serire (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (2674)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (12808)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (4399)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46657) - you deserved it (5598)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52030) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43970) - you deserved it (7130)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45646) - you deserved it (6481)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46958) - you deserved it (9242)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21904) - you deserved it (38755)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62574) - you deserved it (7352)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)



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