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Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 5:22am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 287
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mopar_chick's page activity

Visits<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 10:52pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:34am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 9:06pm<b>jen1682</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:27am<b>jgtrflynn</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 3:43pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 12:43am<b>fragglerock93</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 11:31pm<b>StacyRenae</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 7:32pm<b>BlowinChronic</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 6:58pm<b>mouse9419</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 4:48pm<b>chandlerbelacic</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 10:33am<b>WhisperSoflty</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 2:10am<b>feeshaa13</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 11:41pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 10:39pm<b>BFons</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 1:17pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:54pm<b>alisdr</b> - the 05/28/2012 at 5:30am

mopar_chick's FML badges

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mopar_chick's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

by fizzie101 / 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

by Ryuun12 / 10/02/2014 at 11:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML

by Serire / 09/22/2014 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

by armtits and big pits / 04/05/2014 at 3:14am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2014 at 12:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

by extra crispy or original recipe / 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

by notsohandy / 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy