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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mooshibear140

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mooshibear140
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1255
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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mooshibear140's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (20583) - you deserved it (1969)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

#18496344 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (20921) - you deserved it (1603)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643 (427)

I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (7460)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974 (483)

I agree, your life sucks (49528) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378 (374)

I agree, your life sucks (48728) - you deserved it (5317)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (4595)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (3132)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

#16725425 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (29941) - you deserved it (2987)

On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

#16689352 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (36183) - you deserved it (4460)

On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (6836)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (40105) - you deserved it (5476)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (3313)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

#16370562 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (2683)

On 05/27/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (1950)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

#16367769 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (18721) - you deserved it (5085)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:26am - misc - by moe - United States