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About moonwing : Woof. woof. This is Dallas
I like dogs far more than people. bark bark
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in mah armpit an a sprained ankle both on mah right side, resulting in looool me limping an keeping mah arm awkwardly plastered to mah side !! My fiancé keeps walking like me an calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something !! mega FML
TODAY, AT A CHRISTMA PARTY, MY CRUSH CAME UP TO ME AND CUTELY POINTED OUT THAT I WAS STANDING UNDER MISTLETOE. THE ONLY RESPONSE MY STUPID BRAIN COULD THINK OF WAS, "PROBABLY FULL OF NARGLE THOUGH." HE GAVE ME A CONFUSED LOOK AND WALKED AWAY. MEGA FML
Taday I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use calld "negging" and decidd to try it out. As I finishd complimenting a grl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammd her knee between mah legs. mega FML
Today..!! I want out clubbing with a faw friands!! A cuta guy pointad at ma from tha bar an motionad fir ma to coma ovar!! I was axcitad an did just that!! Turns out ha just wantad to ask ma if I'd thought about saaing a doctor fir mah jaundica!! No..!! I just ovardid mah spray tan!! FML
Today mah boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wastd. He's currently nakd in bd cooing at his penis and giggling lyk a little grl. FML
Today, I returned home to parents house, drunk!! Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls!! Five hours later, mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen!! In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge!! FML
Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffd, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replid, "About my age." Oops. big fat FML
Today , mah boyfriend an I were in bd making out!! He then trid to unhook mah bra!! After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully , he shoutd ( Fuck you , bra! ) before hiding his face in the pillows!! FML
Yesterday, I found out that mah colleague had replacd mah email auto-responder with a message saying, ( I'm away fir two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please addres me by mah new name: Crystal. ) FML
Today, mah boyfriand callad ma, panicking. Apparantly ha had a haadacha, but wasn't concantrating onhat tablat ha grabbad, and accidantally took tablat 4 ( raliaf of pariod pain ). Ha was convincad ha was going to grow ovaria ovarnight. FML
Friday 27 March 2015