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  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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moonflower20's page activity

Visits<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 4:50pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 09/15/2012 at 5:49pm

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moonflower20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML

by goodbyefriend / 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

by hobosarea-holes / 08/14/2010 at 7:10pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML

by Jorgina226 / 08/11/2010 at 12:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

by 42 / 07/07/2010 at 5:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

by nick2.0 / 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

by fmal / 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids