moomoo123456789

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moomoo123456789

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  • Number of visits : 132
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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moomoo123456789's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

by BunniesOnAcid / 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

by historyfreak_17 / 06/17/2012 at 3:11am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML

by thedri11 / 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

by Slowsky / 05/09/2012 at 6:19am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

by geeklove / 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, as I was finishing running a mile, my entire class begun to cheer me on. I felt happy since I don't have many friends. Only when I got closer did I realize that they were cheering for the girl behind me, and in fact, not one person was cheering for me. FML

by silvernights21 / 01/05/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 12:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML

by foreverashamed / 11/04/2011 at 2:57am / Canada / Love

Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML

by happymum / 09/30/2011 at 7:10am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

by chinchilla4404 / 08/02/2011 at 10:17am / United States / Health

Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML

by danielle887 / 07/07/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous