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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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monstermesiah

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monstermesiah
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 385
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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monstermesiah's favorite FMLs

Today, the boy I have crush on at school announced that his family were moving to Australia. My friend thought that it would be funny to spread a rumour that I was moving too, in order to follow him. Everyone has heard it, and unfortunately everyone believes it, including him. FML

#5308714 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (3646)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:23am - love - by FirmlyInEngland (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (5944)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (5214)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (56997) - you deserved it (1911)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

#4827023 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (6527) - you deserved it (42467)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by brokennose (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

#4641799 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (3741)

On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

#4603791 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (43138) - you deserved it (3563)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - work - by Fibericon (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. A SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (50822) - you deserved it (1625)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (8304)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (69769) - you deserved it (14574)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167986) - you deserved it (51071)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363112) - you deserved it (401462)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)