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monkeywrench1

Offline (the 01/18/2014 at 5:07am) | Search for a member

monkeywrench1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 908
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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monkeywrench1's page activity

Visits<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:30pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:37pm<b>miyaviichan</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 9:30pm<b>LaCary</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Bilbo_Swaggins</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:17am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:37am<b>pennylame</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 5:51pm<b>Thales_</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 5:15pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:25am<b>skittycat213</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 6:18pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:46pm<b>jordy728</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:20pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 11:18pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 7:46pm<b>forchane</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:53pm<b>Senreal</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:50pm<b>nevergetsfirst</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 2:31am

monkeywrench1's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of monkeywrench1's badges

monkeywrench1's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

#19964691
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4293) - you deserved it (39081)

On 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10698) - you deserved it (36795)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (2309)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (2309)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30247) - you deserved it (6869)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10487) - you deserved it (40610)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25335) - you deserved it (9456)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

#19417641
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (5715)

On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (12190)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (2303)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9726) - you deserved it (31532)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (6860)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (2623)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8970) - you deserved it (40893)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28840) - you deserved it (3125)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)



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