About momogal : 24 years old and living with my uptight, b*tchy, ultra-Christian parents because the economy is so shitty. My life is pretty f*cked up right now. Been divorced for a year from an abusive a**hole and trying to get my life back together. All while having to stay "in the closet" so I don't get kicked out.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10571) - you deserved it (20871)
On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35639) - you deserved it (9667)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (3634)
On 06/28/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by Kim422 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (2922)
On 06/20/2010 at 3:21am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53029) - you deserved it (3130)
On 06/08/2010 at 3:11am - work - by Myzyri (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88716) - you deserved it (9149)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5751) - you deserved it (23576)
On 12/09/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by HarryBeast (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (7951)
On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31680) - you deserved it (1986)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15561) - you deserved it (2693)
On 09/18/2009 at 4:41am - misc - by MissMSE (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (2510)
On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (58497)
On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48039) - you deserved it (7508)
On 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by 1234 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (7225)
On 07/08/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by feltuponthe69 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom told me I was a bad daughter because I didn't get anything for my parents' anniversary. I just sent my brother a check for $400 for my share of their gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (1868)
On 07/07/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by andrie09 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 17 June 2013
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