hi. i'm morgan. :] i love photoshop, my iMac, firefox, and ultimate frisbee. i want to be a high school teacher, and i am waay too sarcastic for my own good.
Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you totally deserved it (7215)
On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a 3rd date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44157) - you totally deserved it (2279)
On 06/05/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by shescomfortablynumb (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML
I agree, your life sucks (60057) - you totally deserved it (3286)
On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you totally deserved it (4237)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5005) - you totally deserved it (40907)
On 05/30/2009 at 8:48am - kids - by Jess (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11510) - you totally deserved it (26356)
On 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by pissingcontest (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13830) - you totally deserved it (29479)
On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you totally deserved it (7061)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - kids - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boy friend said "you know who you remind me of? Sarah Palin." And then for the next 15 minutes continued to discuss how ugly she is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35594) - you totally deserved it (1655)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jazzyfayyye (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I moved out of my apartment and thought it would be nice to leave the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom for the next tenant. I later got a notice from the management that I was being charged $50 for leaving behind "personal items." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you totally deserved it (4211)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:59am - money - by alynn (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my friend paypal'd me some money to tide me over until my school loans come through. For a transaction description, he wrote "to get back in that pussy game." It got red flagged, and I had to talk with three female customer service agents before it went through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27870) - you totally deserved it (2292)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:15am - money - by Jordan (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8256) - you totally deserved it (29895)
On 05/29/2009 at 7:12am - misc - by ilikecake (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, while working at a certain California theme park in full costume, I was approached by a kid in line who looked at me and exclaimed, 'Hey look, its Indiana Jones!', which felt pretty amazing. His sister, who was maybe seven years old, glanced over at me and said, 'No, he's way too fat.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you totally deserved it (2472)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:20am - work - by paperbagofdoom (man) - United States (California)
Today, my next door neighbor told me that his good looking mom has to get curtains for her bed room because she saw some "perv" looking at her while she was changing last night. It's not my fault that my bedroom window has a perfect view of hers and that she has no drapes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7568) - you totally deserved it (45151)
On 05/29/2009 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Itwasfunwhileitlasted (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you totally deserved it (2004)
On 05/28/2009 at 11:51pm - work - by be_nj (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
