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moffeya

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moffeya

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 September 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 507
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 27 posted

About moffeya : Secret.

moffeya's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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moffeya's favorite FMLs

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41566) - you deserved it (5168)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44919) - you deserved it (5348)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41724) - you deserved it (3322)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55422) - you deserved it (8439)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43908) - you deserved it (2490)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42010) - you deserved it (5716)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

#20962344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47423) - you deserved it (9267)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm - money - by poorman - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46973) - you deserved it (4068)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while feeling sick, I decided to go to a furniture store to sit down for a few minutes. I'm now the proud owner of an expensive, vomit-stained recliner. FML

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43907) - you deserved it (3960)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48747) - you deserved it (2657)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39453) - you deserved it (2848)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -



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