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mlipro

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 26 July 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1588
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About mlipro :

mlipro's page activity

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mlipro's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mlipro's favorite FMLs

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (2452)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19504) - you deserved it (2157)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28438) - you deserved it (6990)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8554) - you deserved it (58663)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11074) - you deserved it (37524)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

#5910203
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43363) - you deserved it (5614)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47187) - you deserved it (4608)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49769) - you deserved it (7132)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89006) - you deserved it (234454)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41781) - you deserved it (37109)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54425) - you deserved it (2755)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42333) - you deserved it (145758)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (66330)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104724) - you deserved it (277479)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (97353)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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