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ml_augustus's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
ml_augustus's favorite FMLs
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Health
Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot, since he screamed in agony. FML
by UnluckyLatina / 04/21/2016 at 11:30pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 2:24am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by NotBeingPaidEnough / 03/03/2016 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
by Racked / 03/01/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by madisonnnnnn / 02/12/2016 at 8:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML
by DarkChild / 02/11/2016 at 5:18pm / France / Kids
by Spooderman / 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm / United States / Kids
Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML
by Upset / 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Work
by onlyjuggalos / 01/31/2016 at 3:13am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 9:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 12:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love