ml_augustus

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ml_augustus

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Everett, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 July 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1977
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ml_augustus's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 13 hours ago<b>kelssbo</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 10:33pm<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:54pm<b>burgermike92</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 10:38pm<b>SouthernMidnight</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 6:46am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 6:24am<b>Maxthomkell</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 11:56pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:54am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 3:23am<b>Ubermac</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:44am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:00am<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:02pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:46pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:35pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 1:29am<b>iAlissa</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:27am<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:04pm<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 8:08pm

Fucked!<b>Prerogative</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:37am<b>iAlissa</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:25pm

ml_augustus's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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ml_augustus's favorite FMLs

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

by not a shitty situation so fuck you / 06/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

by tracy4191 / 06/13/2016 at 11:27am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, the police finally recovered my stolen car. All it took was a shootout and two people dying. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2016 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML

by jasonvanr / 05/10/2016 at 4:19am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Health

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot, since he screamed in agony. FML

by UnluckyLatina / 04/21/2016 at 11:30pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML

by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 2:24am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat and threw up on my checkout. FML

by NotBeingPaidEnough / 03/03/2016 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

by Racked / 03/01/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found out my doctor misdiagnosed my kidney stones as constipation. Now, I'm shitting like crazy from the laxatives that he gave me, and I also have to pass a kidney stone. FML

by madisonnnnnn / 02/12/2016 at 8:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

by DarkChild / 02/11/2016 at 5:18pm / France / Kids

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

by Spooderman / 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm / United States / Kids