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ml_augustus

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ml_augustus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 316
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>Joel_Morris</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 9:39am<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 11:14pm<b>hannahsnyder69</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:29pm<b>thewomen</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 9:55pm<b>jesstanothergurl</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 11:12pm<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 3:34am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 5:24pm<b>GwennaRose</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 5:32pm

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ml_augustus's favorite FMLs

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

#21221426
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (2371)

On 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48264) - you deserved it (6628)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (36841)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

#21203602
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (17521)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40660) - you deserved it (4023)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45829) - you deserved it (8284)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39614) - you deserved it (4755)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40853) - you deserved it (9211)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54344) - you deserved it (5055)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51877) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

#21178066
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (3957)

On 06/17/2014 at 1:34pm - misc - by luckycharmed (woman) - United States

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43509) - you deserved it (6269)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52868) - you deserved it (8942)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41671) - you deserved it (5300)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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