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ml_augustus

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ml_augustus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 July 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 299
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>Joel_Morris</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 9:39am<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 11:14pm<b>hannahsnyder69</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:29pm<b>thewomen</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 9:55pm<b>jesstanothergurl</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 11:12pm<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 3:34am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 5:24pm<b>GwennaRose</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 5:32pm

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ml_augustus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44002) - you deserved it (614)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2594) - you deserved it (34477)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

#21203602
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (16658)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40357) - you deserved it (3786)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing hysterically, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45577) - you deserved it (7921)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39109) - you deserved it (4427)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40400) - you deserved it (8862)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54013) - you deserved it (4739)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51454) - you deserved it (4281)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

#21178066
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44023) - you deserved it (3691)

On 06/17/2014 at 1:34pm - misc - by luckycharmed (woman) - United States

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (5917)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52432) - you deserved it (8477)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41147) - you deserved it (4968)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45130) - you deserved it (4031)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

#21157319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39921) - you deserved it (8895)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)



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