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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mjsdabeast

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mjsdabeast
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1425
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mjsdabeast's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

#4447976 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (12272)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Lilly_28 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

#4407922 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (35569) - you deserved it (2314)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my boyfriends mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML

#4407478 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (4784)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (5105)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (30377) - you deserved it (2674)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML

#3878606 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (19163)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

#3878598 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (30004) - you deserved it (7989)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by lifedoessuck12 (man) - Philippines (Pasay)

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

#3510795 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (48873) - you deserved it (1539)

On 07/05/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)