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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mjk555

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mjk555
  • Town/Country : montreal, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 October 1979 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 309
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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mjk555's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (6065)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (18722) - you deserved it (2436)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish over the webcam lens on my laptop because "It wasn't all black, so I decided to fix it." FML

#15650612 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (23733) - you deserved it (4006)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912 (602)

I agree, your life sucks (26595) - you deserved it (35041)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (4812)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

#7147061 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (4475)

On 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by kady (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up at 3 in the morning and realized I forgot a 30 page english essay that was due the next day. Knowing I still had 12 pages to research and write, I bolted. I worked until 12PM and was almost done when my dad came in and unplugged the computer because I "need to go outside more." FML

#5507181 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (41201) - you deserved it (7849)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by riotrock (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

#4911322 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (36598)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm - love - by zuper_duper (man) - United States (California)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (15666)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, it was my turn to have the trophy my baseball team won a few weeks ago. I then find out that my brother and his buddies thought it would be funny to fill the trophy up with beer, drink the beer, and then pee in it. Not only is it over 50yrs old, it stinks of pee and is due back tomorrow. FML

#4404905 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (30177) - you deserved it (2741)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by itendstonight (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (43939)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (41685) - you deserved it (1998)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I have had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML

#3949898 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (42691) - you deserved it (2016)

On 07/22/2009 at 8:17am - work - by babysitter93 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

#3334132 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (56602) - you deserved it (4880)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

#2168919 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (49587) - you deserved it (3283)

On 05/22/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by fmlcops (man) - United States (Illinois)