mitsuki5561

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mitsuki5561

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 314
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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mitsuki5561's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

by sickbaby / 06/11/2011 at 9:06am / Singapore / Health

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML

by sherryberry2013 / 06/10/2011 at 7:42pm / United States / Love

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

by Rachel / 06/10/2011 at 5:57am / United States (Alabama) / Kids

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

by dumbteacher / 05/23/2011 at 10:35am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

by WTF / 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm / Health

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

by sexyredhead / 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm / United States / Love

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

by T_Willl / 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm / Work

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

by teach / 11/14/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

by Petitprof / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

by Eeeek / 08/26/2010 at 5:17pm / Bulgaria (Varna) / Intimacy