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Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you totally deserved it (4988)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3112) - you totally deserved it (31589)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by burnnotice (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32662) - you totally deserved it (8876)
On 09/19/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by josh (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41511) - you totally deserved it (1555)
On 09/19/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by asthmasucks (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you totally deserved it (6032)
On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you totally deserved it (20289)
On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45212) - you totally deserved it (2190)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you totally deserved it (2016)
On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4922) - you totally deserved it (23304)
On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you totally deserved it (3834)
On 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by luvizwar (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42298) - you totally deserved it (13190)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5820) - you totally deserved it (28443)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by creeper - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34583) - you totally deserved it (2654)
On 09/03/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by LosTits (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you totally deserved it (7250)
On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend's house to meet her parents. We were having a nice conversation and her mom then asked "What have you done recently that was great?" I replied without thinking "Your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7095) - you totally deserved it (54239)
On 09/03/2009 at 11:38am - love - by butshewasgreat (man) - United States (North Carolina)
