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misterjez

Offline (the 02/16/2015 at 4:23pm) | Search for a member

misterjez

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 July 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2145
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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misterjez's page activity

Visits<b>PopularPoptart</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:05pm<b>21PGreenDay</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:40am<b>couchcat</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 7:50pm<b>constipation</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:48pm<b>twerking_riggs</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:39am<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:52am<b>sweeta1485</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:24pm<b>saudmx3</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:27pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:25pm<b>jellenwood</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:47pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:13pm<b>PureTime</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:14pm<b>Role448</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:13am<b>ghostsoul21</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:41pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:56am<b>lotr4</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:26am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:59pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:34am

misterjez's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of misterjez's badges

misterjez's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46877) - you deserved it (6836)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13431) - you deserved it (54967)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55130) - you deserved it (10387)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13273) - you deserved it (69625)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22607) - you deserved it (55547)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32834) - you deserved it (16721)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

#14944563
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11994) - you deserved it (41935)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (15494)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

#5708797
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34406) - you deserved it (16247)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65615) - you deserved it (2780)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164438) - you deserved it (10627)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93371) - you deserved it (243479)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (153924)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41370) - you deserved it (337324)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
955 comments

I agree, your life sucks (384377) - you deserved it (44117)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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