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Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (22971)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13762) - you deserved it (162621)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I ran into my father. He was drunk and singing in the street. At 1:25pm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (1701)
On 09/01/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by DogDoingScience (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (4008)
On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20672) - you deserved it (1811)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36864) - you deserved it (5660)
On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9410) - you deserved it (36932)
On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43316) - you deserved it (7596)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (49776)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16525) - you deserved it (39252)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (13566)
On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (9179)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (11623)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119085) - you deserved it (5914)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65840) - you deserved it (162754)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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