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misterjez

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 10:52pm) | Search for a member

misterjez

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 July 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1565
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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misterjez's page activity

Visits<b>PureTime</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:14pm<b>Role448</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:13am<b>ghostsoul21</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:41pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:56am<b>lotr4</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:26am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:59pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:34am<b>mrainesm</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:12pm<b>SoMystic</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:23pm<b>times22</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 4:39pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:47am<b>tboogyman</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 3:55pm<b>jake_lq91</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:30am<b>amazingnicole</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 5:12am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40am<b>iAlissa</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:10pm<b>Bmf2k</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:34am<b>goawayy</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:59pm

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misterjez's favorite FMLs

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31965) - you deserved it (2320)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18113) - you deserved it (26574)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59419) - you deserved it (3053)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (2281)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered why my girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting my nails. She collects my clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

#20049093
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (2149)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:04am - misc - by freaked out - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (3746)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

#20032910
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (2820)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

#19991299
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you deserved it (1466)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

#19988661
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (2054)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10716) - you deserved it (36828)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30694) - you deserved it (5085)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (2675)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27561) - you deserved it (2921)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (51269) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36419) - you deserved it (3001)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)



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