Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

misterjez

Offline (the 02/16/2015 at 4:23pm) | Search for a member

misterjez

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 July 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1808
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

misterjez's page activity

Visits<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:56pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:25pm<b>jellenwood</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:47pm<b>kjax</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:06pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:13pm<b>PureTime</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:14pm<b>Role448</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:13am<b>ghostsoul21</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:41pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:56am<b>lotr4</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:26am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:59pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:34am<b>mrainesm</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:12pm<b>SoMystic</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:23pm<b>times22</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 4:39pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:47am<b>tboogyman</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 3:55pm<b>jake_lq91</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:30am

misterjez's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of misterjez's badges

misterjez's favorite FMLs

Today, I helped friend,ho is a slob, move out of house . I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed . It was her vibrator . I found it with bare hands . I had to bleach hands twice and I still don't feel clean . fat FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32154) - you deserved it (2334)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a usd condom. FML

#20080363
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18171) - you deserved it (26669)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

yesterday a guy I've been seeing for ahile sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clickd the link just to see wat sick shit he wantd to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59695) - you deserved it (3067)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I Walked In On Mah Mother Rubbing One Out. For The Thrd Time. I Then Had To Explain To Her, Also 4 The Thrd Time,hy Pleasuring Herself In The Living Room Is Inappropriate. FML

#20071176
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37683) - you deserved it (2329)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I discoveredhy mah girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting mah nails. She collects mah clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

#20049093
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27933) - you deserved it (2160)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:04am - misc - by freaked out - Canada (Alberta)

the office I work at puttd up a ( No Masturbating at Desks ) sign. I'm disappointd by this, not cuz I usually whack off at my desk, but cuz enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you deserved it (3759)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday after his second week of babysitting, boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm . He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me . FML

#20032910
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26203) - you deserved it (2829)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused mah bowels to release everything right then and there while on the phone with a customer in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

#19991299
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30385) - you deserved it (1519)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today a homeles lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undie looool on. I can never eat salami again. FML

#19988661
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (2218)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to parents house, drunk!! Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls!! Five hours later, mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen!! In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge!! FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11444) - you deserved it (38208)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, mah boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32203) - you deserved it (5235)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Taday I fell into a hole. And by hole I mean a sewer. mega FML

#19631196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (2828)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out where all mah missing pantie have gone, when mah 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2937)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

TODAY, TO AVOID LOOKING LIKE A LOSER IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDSHO ALL HAVE GIRLFRIENDS, MAH BROTHER MADE UP A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. HE ASKD ME TO GIVE HIM A HICKEY IN EXCHANGE 4 50 EUROS. OUR PARENTS WALKD IN ON US. FML

#19561833
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14622) - you deserved it (52362) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out that mah boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panickd, pulld out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: