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misterjez's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
misterjez's favorite FMLs
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money
by bill219 / 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/26/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy
by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML
by rubberduck1 / 11/16/2012 at 12:04am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by fuzz94 / 11/14/2012 at 4:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…