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misterjez

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misterjez

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 July 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1418
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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misterjez's page activity

Visits<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:56am<b>lotr4</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:26am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:59pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:34am<b>mrainesm</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:12pm<b>SoMystic</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:23pm<b>times22</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 4:39pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:47am<b>tboogyman</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 3:55pm<b>jake_lq91</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:30am<b>amazingnicole</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 5:12am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40am<b>iAlissa</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:10pm<b>Bmf2k</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:34am<b>goawayy</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:59pm<b>_mattaguirre</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 10:42pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:24am<b>UsernameTaken14</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 1:10pm

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misterjez's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (22720)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20293) - you deserved it (7837)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33204) - you deserved it (3150)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33404) - you deserved it (4050)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34128) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML

#20164988
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6437) - you deserved it (19368)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:04am - work - by rubberduck1 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38696) - you deserved it (2696)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (7528)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48370) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (60770)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (2309)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (26484)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)



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